“The Match 2” was the Best Entertainment of the Quarantine

In case you were sleeping under a rock yesterday afternoon, or already 15 bud lights deep into your Memorial Day weekend, you, like every other sports starved fan in the world got to watch some of the first live sports in months with the “The Match 2”. It featured Tiger Woods and Peyton Manning vs. Phil Mickelson and Tom Brady.

Everyone knew that the trash talk between these groupings would be prevalent given the egos and personalities involved and it didn’t take long before shots were being fired. They hadn’t even made it to the first tee yet before Peyton starting giving it to Brady and even brought his brother Eli Manning and Nick Foles into it.

You knew right then that these guys were definetly comfortable around each other and it was going to be a entertaining day watching them compete on the course. The football players weren’t the only ones with expertise in talking trash though, a little later Tiger gave Phil Mickelson a nice barb about never winning the US Open.

Tiger wasn’t done either, he hit Brady with maybe my favorite line of the day after Brady shanked yet another drive early on.

Anyone that’s ever played golf (and sucked at it) has heard that joke before and it plays everytime. Tiger’s delivery was perfect though, just so matter of fact with it. It was awesome. It was right around this moment I knew we had something here and it was going to be far more entertaining that lasts years match that was just between him and Phil Mickelson.

To Tigers credit, and to the delight of many of his fans, he looked very sharp yesterday which is a great sign considering he missed the majority of PGA events earlier this spring before everything was cancelled due to COVID-19. While The Medalist Golf Club where this took place is basically Tiger’s home course, (they even have specific tees for him) it was was still nice to see the 2019 Masters Champ out there doing his thing and gives hope that more wins could be in his future.

One guy who was not playing well at all on the other hand, was the GOAT of Football, Mr. Tom Brady. That one he shanked over to the 7th fairway wasn’t his first or last errant shot of the match.

It was actually sort of refreshing to see someone as perfect as Brady appears, to look exactly like me out there on the course at times. Being a life-long Patriots fan and still salty about Brady leaving for Tampa Bay, one side of me was filled with a sense of giddy-glee everytime he shanked one. The twitter trolls were out in full force as well, like sharks in the water they were getting their first sniff of Brady blood in 20 years and were loving it.

But the other side of me remembered all the joy he has brought me in my life over the years and was rooting for him to pull it together. And just when it seemed he wouldn’t make a Par all day, all it took was Charles Barkely talking a little shit in Brady’s ear and he goes and pulls this shit. GOAT status reconfirmed.

Just an unbelievable shot, definetly the shot of the match and just like that Brady’s attitude did a 180 and he started to lighten up and talk trash of his own. He’ll probably call up MJ later on and trade stories about telling Charles Barkely to suck it after shoving it back in his face. What a moment. I mean he put so much effort into that shot he even ripped his pants. What an athlete.

Honestly I don’t know Barkley has any ground to talk smack when he swings a club like this.

Back to the match itself, again unless you live under a rock or have no internet in quarantine you know that Tiger and Peyton ultimately pulled it out, winning by a hole even though Tom and Phil made a later charge on the back 9 after being down three holes. It was honestly a great day for not only golf but the world of sports, here’s a few more of the best moments of the day.

Justin Thomas honestly did an amazing job on the broadcast too, and this was his best line of the day aimed towards Barkley. Hilarious.

I was actually really impressed with Peyton’s game overall too, I guess that’s what retired life will get you.

This might be my favorite social media comment on the match from the day..

Brady still salty over that Eagles Super Bowl too.

Brady had some barbs of his own aimed towards Manning too.

Overall, despite the weather yesterday it was such an amazing event. These four guys really put on quite the show for us sports-starved fans and I know personally I am really grateful for that. Watching live sports again felt like a break from reality for a few hours. Not to mention the fact these guys made a boatload of money for for the COVID-19 relief fund, 20 million is nothing to sneeze at. Kudos to these guys.

P.s. Would you have ever thought Tiger was that much shorter than these guys, I mean I know Peyton and tom are like 6’3 & 6’4 range, but I had no idea Phil was 6’3 too. Online it says Tiger is 6’1 but judging from this picture thats like an NBA height, like when they say Kevin Durant is like 7’2 when he’s really like 6’10. I hope Tiger doesn’t catch a glimpse of this photo because his ego might resort back 08′ Tiger and start going wild again. Thank goodness Perkins restaurants are to-go orders only right now.

Happy Friday! Here’s a Video of the Absolute Worst People from the Covid-19 Pandemic

Listen, I get it, wearing a mask sucks. They are uncomfortable and hard to breathe through at times and if I haven’t brushed my teeth or had a mint recently it’s like being self tortured by a mouth breathing mongoloid and there’s nothing worse than that. But this is the world we live in currently. When you go into a public setting, and they require you to wear a mask, you need to wear a fucking mask. You do not need to act like these savages from this video.

Coughing/spitting on people and assaulting them because you are being forced to do something that might actually help society for once in your miserable white trash lives isn’t the answer. I’m so happy these videos exist so these people can be dragged through the internet streets for the rest of time.

It’s not a goddamn violation of your civil liberties or freedom because you have to wear a mask for the 30 mins or less you are in a store, its common sense. COVID is a respiratory illness, so preventing everyone from breathing all over each other is probably a good idea. You think it’s so awful because you have to wear a mask, oh boo hoo, try pulling this shit in China. I’m pretty sure it’s immediate death by firing squad if you even think about not putting a mask on when you leave the house there. I mean Jesus, they’re even making the cats wear masks there.

By the way, this isn’t the first time stores have ever required a certain article of clothing to be worn in them. Hello, have you ever heard of “No shirt, No shoes, No service”? Maybe next you should just assault the guy at 7/11 when he tells you to throw some sandals on before you come in for that 64oz Blue Mountain Dew Slushie. Because make no mistake, the people in this video are the same psychopaths and garbage humans that would walk into a 7/11 with no shoes on.

I gotta give a hand to the employees in these videos though. They somehow are remaining calm and keeping up that corporate appearance in the face of absolute lunacy. If someone coughed or spit on me with Coronavirus going on! I’m legit going to murder you and I’m pretty sure I’ll get off in court claiming self-defense of my immune system.

So anyway, here’s a ranking of these trasholes for further examination. Enjoy.

5. Hole in Mask Lady (Karen Level 5.7)

Hole in mask lady comes in at number 5 because she doesn’t actually do anything to the worker or anything offensive at all really. She just wins for the biggest fucking idiot of the group. She defeated the entire purpose of the mask and if she’s not careful one of those BDSM weirdos out there might think she’s sending mixed messages about how that hole should be used. Yikes.

4. FedEx Store Lady (Karen Level 7.3)

For starters, this lady is a fucking idiot for even being in a FedEx store. It’s 2020 lady, I can send and receive any package imaginable in about 3 seconds from the comfort of my couch. Get it together. Secondly, we have our first cougher, so death would be an acceptable fate but I’ll give her some benefit that she isn’t coughing directly on people. But not much. Given her white trash, titties showing through the shirt appearance, I would assume she smokes no less than a carton of Marlboro Menthols every day so maybe she just had a random smokers cough and her fate will come soon enough. We can only hope.

3. Cough directly in your face Lady (Karen Level 8.6)

Maybe a shocker that this lady isn’t number one I know, but there’s a lack of context here that makes it difficult to judge. The guy whose face she’s coughing into isn’t wearing a mask either so it likely wasn’t about that. For all we know he was being that creepy dude at the bar and this was her absolutely ridiculous response to that. She honestly might have given him the easy way out. He looks like a frail old man and she looks like a tank of lady that could probably play offensive line for the local college team. Still, the closeness of the cough is just preposterous. If she has COVID, that guys now has COVID. It’s facts. Death by stoning for this broad.

2. Spitting in Walmart Employee’s Face Lady (Karen Level 9.5)

COVID or not, you spit in my face and I’m probably throwing hands. No minimum wage Walmart Cashier Job is going to prevent that, but kudos to these guys for keeping their cool. We also have our first Cough & Spit contestant of the day with this crazy bitch too. Just a wild, wild move. I can almost guarantee this is one of those situations where someone placed a Flat Screen TV in the Dollar Bin and Karen can’t wrap her head around that the actual price is $799. Instead she felt the need to start spraying bodily fluids on people. Fuck this lady, Death by a million needles. P.S. Run a comb through that hair for me one-time lady, it’s tough to classify you as an actual Karen with your hair looking like that. Get it together.

1. I have a Medical Condition Lady (Karen Level 10.0)

Unfortunately, this lady was the one actually filming the video so we don’t get to view her undoubtedly permanent pissy bitch face and attitude but you get all you need out of what she says. “I have a medical condition so I can’t wear a mask”. I can tell by the look on his face, Dan the store manager here has the same thought as me but can’t say it, so I’ll do it for him. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ARE YOU EVEN OUT IF YOU HAVE A MEDICAL CONDITION YOU STUPID STUPID LADY!!!! She continues to berate him, claims she can’t have him grab the stuff she needs because it’s private stuff? Chill lady, Dan is definitely a Dad and he’s seen a box of tampons before. Then she states she will sue the store to which Dan just shrugs which is my favorite part.

Fuck this Lady. While she may not deserve death like some of the others, I can guarantee she is the worst one of the lot to be around for an extended period of time. Just an absolute Debbie Downer who will find a way to ruin anything.

So in conclusion, don’t be like these people. No one is telling you that you have to wear a mask 24/7 or anytime you step outside. Matter of fact if I see you wearing a mask running or riding a bike I find you just as stupid as these people who refuse to. When you go in stores or public settings just throw it the fuck on. Hopefully, just maybe, it will help prevent us from being locked in our houses for the rest of time and prevent the economic disaster we have already from getting worse. Also, be nice to these employees that are actually out working putting their own health at risk on a daily basis, they deserve to be treated with respect always, but especially now. Have a great Memorial Day everyone and stay safe.

The Change In Culture: Thank You Barstool

Ladies and gentlemen, I come to you today writing about a very important event taking place in the sports media industry. The attack on Barstool Sports. First off I want to say thank you to founder Dave Portnoy,  for establishing a culture that is being embraced amongst the industry. Are some things unethical and frowned upon? Absolutely. That comes with the territory though. Sportaholic isn’t a Barstool 2.0 we are a team of writers who fell in love with the raw gritty content that people need in this day and age. This is the new age media where people are now deciding to speak their mind in an uncut manner on events and in our case sports topics. With that being said, we respect the OG’s of the game such as ESPN and FOX Sports. But instead we, just like Barstool, want to take some of the same topics/content those companies cover and incorporate our own humor with uncut language into our writing in order to make reading our post enjoyable. That’s all that we want, right? Somewhere that the average American can go and read an article that speaks to them in a style that matches what they’re thinking. Are their disagreements? There should be. Open-mindedness is the foundation on which every human should operate. So, Barstool, we say thank you for paving the way into a culture we have inherited and love.

Barstool Sports launched onto the internet in 2007, shaking up the landscape of the sports media/blogging world. It gave you the raw uncut version of sports and most of all analysis of campus life in college. This sparked a movement that everyone has now known and embraced across the country. Hell, without it I don’t even think Instagram would be as popular. Don’t get me wrong I love seeing pictures of your dinner plates (I love food), pictures of your babies, and most of all the pictures where you go on vacation trying to take professional pictures for “the Gram”. But, I go on Instagram now to check out the funniest videos posted normally by Barstool and their affiliates. Still think the greatest take ever is Big Cat’s fascination with Bob Wylie, the Cleveland Browns offensive line coach. KFC thinking the Jets are back only to “Cuncel” the season due to their embarrassing loss to my Browns. The war between Smitty and Rapaport as he bangs out “Born in the USA” by Bruce Springsteen confirming what no one cared about, he juiced. Not to mention, I, like many others have sent out a Snapchat of me taking a bite of pizza and then reciting the wonderful lines of, “One bite everyone knows the rules”. This is the new age culture, I am all in!

Since no one wants to point out what has stemmed from the Barstool movement, I will. “The Ringer” a sensational podcast delivered by none other than Bill Simmons, has become iconic because of their joking atmosphere and use of profanity. Hell, even Fox Sports has just recently put out their own gambling show, years after Barstool had a blog telling you where to place your money on a weekly basis. Their amateur boxing that has filled arenas and provided fans entertainment, including my hometown, Youngstown, Ohio (Shoutout to Pat McGlone, Ryan Young, and Tom Finnerty on their glorious knockouts). They also give the little guys like us platforms to speak our mind and do it a manner in which we were sitting with the “boys” or “girls” (we don’t discriminate). Most of all they even employ the keyboard warriors that stand up for the freedom that this country was beautifully granted.

Why do we love Barstool? Because there is a “Stoolie” inside each and  every one of us. I guarantee half of the media that bashes the brand has sat back and laughed at a video or blog that Barstool has put up. The humor is endless, and it may be something this country needs. People wake up, work their boring 9 to 5 job, and tend to become miserable. Why not spend some time taking a break from that monotony and enjoy some laughter in our lives? Like I said some of this is not for everyone and that’s fine. The biggest thing and what people are failing to realize is even if you don’t like Barstool, writing about them is still giving them free publicity. “There’s no such thing as bad publicity” and you guys are continuing to make that narrative true.

My word of advice is to stop fighting it, embrace the new age culture because the uncut crazy shit you guys discriminate against is only going to become bigger and bigger with each minute that passes. So once again, thank you Barstool, because without you this page wouldn’t be happening and because many of us would still be cowering to speak our minds due to never having a real legit job. You guys changed the culture and with that, we embraced it and will continue to do so.

Sincerely,

A sports blogger but most of all a proud Stoolie

Eminem Drops MGK Diss Track and ehhh

 

So today Eminem finally fired back at MGK for the diss track he dropped last week.  Anddddddd its not great. I think everyone was expecting Marshall to come back with something fierce in response to “Rap Devil” where MGK openly raps about Em’s daughter Hailey and baby momma Kim. MGK’s Diss track was just ehhh alright, it felt like he basically just dipped one toe into the water of this rap beef because while dissing Eminem he also felt the need to compliment him every other line. I don’t know about you but I like my rap beefs to have a violent undertone to them, especially in this day and age when we know that no one is really going to get murdered in a rap beef. For christ’s sake you can’t make joke in this day and age without being crucified by the PC police never mind actually harming someone.

So that’s why my initial reaction when hearing “Rap Devil” was that if I know me some Eminem like I think I do then he was gonna come out firing and not hold back. If 2000’s Eminem taught me anything, it’s that you don’t talk about his family without him eviscerating you on a track and basically proclaiming threats of death against you and everyone that you roll with. That’s what I was ready for and knew the response would be coming at some point. When I listened to “Killshot” for the first time I had the instant Eminem “Stan” Fan reaction and thought ooooohhh he gottt him, its over! Em killed him!!!!! But then the second and third time over that I listened, it kept just getting worse and made me realize that it unfortunately seems that his diss tracks have also gotten progressively worse along with his music in general. It appears gone are the days where you could count on Eminem to destroy any rapper that came at him and almost nobody ever dared to do so. I mean who remembers Chris Rock explaining why that was such a terrible idea.

But this was clearly the old days and it doesn’t appear that they are coming back. It seems in the year 2018 that a real rap beef appears to be long gone and Eminem just proved that to us. I think unfortunately even he has felt that wrath of the PC mongers that will trash you for everything that you say that isn’t aligned with their political correctness. Just sucks to see that has come all the way over into the world of rap which is all about freedom of expression and not meant to be taken literal. If he is afraid to cross that line in a rap beef anymore then who can we count on to do it? Certainly not Drake or whoever he is beefing with this week. Well at least we can count on Jcole to clown some mumble rappers and also try to help them at the same time with their personal issues, That’s Exciting! Oh well, I guess rap beefs are dead. Let’s just get back to trashing all these sound cloud losers and pray that the next generation decides to learn how to read before they learn how to rap.

 

P.s Here’s a classic Eminem diss track so we can reminisce the old days

RIP Mac Miller

Some really tough news coming through today with reports of Michael McCormick aka Mac Miller reportedly found dead from an overdose today. This one really hits home for a lot of people across the country today especially millenials. For many of us we associated Mac Millers music with a time in our lives when we were care free college aged kids and we still vividly remember that feeling of being at a party and having one of his early bangers come through the speakers.

Little known fact but I used to want to be a rapper when I was between the ages of about 18-21. While I knew I could never be as lyrically talented as the likes of Eminem or Nas, when I first heard of Mac Miller he was a complete inspiration for me at that time. Here was a kid from the same type of background as me that was making waves with his music that he basically at first produced on his own. He was one of the first rappers to really utilized Youtube as a platform to get his music out there to the world starting with 2011’s “Donald Trump” and “Best Day Ever”. He was so extremely talented and for a period in my life I would have wanted nothing more than to be him.

It’s terrible for it all to end this way and especially at the age of 26. He clearly had been struggling with a very rough and public breakup with the Hit pop star Ariana Grande along with substance abuse issues. Its hard to picture the guy who was known for always making mood-lifting fun rap music having a such dark side but its not as hard to believe. He’s was immediately thrust into fame around the age of 19 and never looked back. There’s nothing that can prepare you for that life, and you can’t judge a man until you walk a mile in his shoes and those shoes had probably been through some crazy shit, good and bad. Regardless I hope he is in a better place even though we all wish he was still here. His new album “Swimming” seems like a success and I think everyone would have loved to see him have a major comeback in his career. RIP Mac Miller.. One of the good guys.

P.s. I don’t think you can watch this video without tearing up, Gone way too soon.

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