Pentagon Basically Confirms UFO’s are Real, 2020 Remains Undefeated

The first thing trending this Tuesday morning are reports that the Pentagon has declassified videos from the US Navy, confirming that they are real and are UFO’s.

Now if these videos look familiar, especially for your other Alien truthers out there, it’s because they are not technically new footage. These tapes were already leaked in the past couple years and have already circulated the internet multiple times. Whats different now you may ask then? The Pentagon declassified them, confirming it is real footage capture by real Navy pilots and we have no idea what the hell these objects are. The same government that has basically assured us there is no such thing as aliens for that past 75 years now has all of a sudden decided to basically confirm their existence in the middle of a pandemic. Coincidence? The Alex Jones, tinfoil hat side of me thinks not.

The governement already did confirm these videos were real back in 2017, so why put them in our face again now? Are they trying to get us ready because the aliens are almost here and its going to be Independence Day 2020 soon? Will Smith better stop making shitty movies and get it together if thats the case because we’re gonna need him.

The Twitter world has been ablaze with hilarious memes and jokes this morning as well, with #AliensExist now trending

With the craziness that 2020 has already brought us it almost feels like aliens arriving would almost be welcomed at this point. I mean they have been around for like a billion more years then us so they must have a Coronavirus vaccine by now right? Even if we have to be enslaved by Aliens for the rest of time if I can at least get sports back I think that’s a deal I’m willing to make right now.

Maybe this is just a part of an elaborate PR campaign for Space Jam 2. LeBron had enough of MJ getting all this shine for the new Last Dance documentary and decided to fight Aliens for real this time. It’s probably his only shot left at being considered the GOAT.

But in all seriousness, who knows what the hell this all means. It’s not like the Government just realized there are actually aliens or UFO’s if they really do exist. They have definitely known about all this for decades. If you’re looking to go on an alien conspiracy deep dive, I’d suggest starting with Bob Lazar, the guy claims he worked on real alien spacecraft back in the 80’s at Area 51. And while the government has repeatedly denied he ever worked there and is full of shit, his story is pretty convincing if you keep an open mind. Below is the podcast from when he was on the Joe Rogan Experience and he’s had other documentary and YouTube films made about him that are eye opening. Think you what you want, but for as strange as 2020 has already been I say bring on the Aliens at this point.

P.S. I’m definitely on #TeamAlien if they come. I would join them in a heartbeat, even if I have to get probed/violated to join up, gotta make that sacrifice to be on the winning team.

Magic Johnson Continues Tampering Spree, Next Target Ben Simmons

Is Magic Johnson moving on from tampering with Anthony Davis and moving onto someone new? Well, today reports are swirling from ESPN that Philadelphia 76ers star Ben Simmons is requesting the ability to have a meeting with NBA Legend and LA Lakers Team President Magic Johnson. It sounds innocent, apparently, he just requested the ability to “chat with one the All-Time greats”. But as we have learned since Magic became the Lakers team president nothing is really that innocent.

The NBA is investigating whether the Lakers made improper contact but what the hell is that really going to lead to? Are they going to fine Johnson? The dudes a billionaire he doesn’t give a shit. I suppose they could fine the Lakers but that’s almost one in the same. No real effect.

Both Simmons and Johnson are 6’9 point guards which is a rare breed in the world of the NBA so it’s almost understandable that they would want to chat. Johnson could provide some insight and pointers to assist Simmons with his game. That would be fine and dandy if Magic wasn’t the goddamn team president of the Lakers. It’s simple as that. This just feels like Magic and the Lakers are once again basically giving a middle finger to the rest of the league and basically stating that they can do whatever the fuck they want.

The Sixers GM Elton Brand has come out and said it’s not a big deal and won’t affect Simmons long term future in Philadelphia. Well, Mr. Brand if you really believe that then you might end up being a bigger disappointment as a GM than you were as a player.

Let me lay this out for you, Simmons your star point guard is repped by LeBron James’ BFF Rich Paul at Klutch Sports, he dates Kardashians, and is constantly in LA during the offseason. And now he wants to meet with Magic Johnson. I thought we would have learned from the recent Anthony Davis debacle. From my estimates, we are about 12-18 months away from Simmons trying to force a trade from Philly to the Lakers.

Here’s the thing, I don’t really give a shit what the Lakers and Magic/LeBron are trying to do. We all knew this was going to be the case when LeBron went to the Lakers. But what makes me angry is the NBA just allowing it to continue to happen and pretending like they actually have tampering rules in the NBA.

You either need to lay down the hammer when stuff like this happens or just come out and say you are not going to enforce it anymore. I’m all for player empowerment and freedom to do what they want but you have to draw the line somewhere.

If I’m Elton Brand I’m losing my shit over this. It’s great that Magic Johnson is one of the all-time greats and wants to take a kid like Simmons under his wing. But he should have thought of that before he became a president of a team.

I would like to see the NBA come down with a hard line on this one way or the other after this season. The NBA has probably done the best job of all the major sports leagues at marketing itself and improving the overall image of the league in the past 5-10 years. All that goes to waste if they don’t fix this issue and find a way to keep stars in smaller markets and create a more competitive league.

The reason people enjoy the NFL so much is because despite the success of the Patriots every year, it feels like anyone has a shot to win the title. In the NBA, it’s more like 7-8 teams that have a shot and realistically only like 3-4  If teams continue this wave of recruiting star players out of the smaller markets than they might as well cut the league in half and play a 40 game schedule. As much good as Commissioner Adam Silver has done for this league, it’s hard to imagine the previous commish David Stern would have let this fly. He knew an extremely top-heavy league was bad for business.

So, while the actions of Magic Johnson and LeBron have left a terrible taste in my mouth about this league lately, it’s not really them who we should be blaming, even if it’s easy to hate LeBron. People in nature, but especially in sports, are going to take every inch possible to gain an advatange. Unless they finally get burnt doing so, nothing will change.

 

 

 

 

I’m So F***in Sick of Anthony Davis

Unless your a sports fan that lives on the planet Pluto or has no internet access, than all you have heard about for the last 48-72 hours is endless trade rumors surrounding Anthony Davis.

AD to the Lakers Confirmed!! No wait, actually Celtics will be getting him this offseason! Oh actually maybe he’ll go to the Knicks. Wait again, maybe he’s going to the Bucks and him and Giannis will combine superpowers and turn into an NBA version of Thanos from those dumb Avengers movies.

Goddammit,  I’m so fucking sick of it. I get that AD is an amazing talent. I get that he is probably the best player to be on the trade block since Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in the 70s. I get that whatever team gets him will have a real shot at an NBA title for years to come. It’s just brain-numbing and unbearable to listen to this shit for days on end, I don’t know if I can make it to next Thursday’s trade deadline without drinking a bottle of anti-freeze.

I get that AD is being painted as the villain in this scenario. But as much as he’s got some responsibility in this, the majority of my annoyance is geared towards his agent Rich Paul aka LeBron James’ puppet toy.

I mean did anyone really expect anything different when Davis signed with Klutch Sports? If you did you’re stupid. This has been the plan since LeBron was even considering the Los Angeles Lakers. Did you really think he would be satisfied with being on a sub-par Laker team with no extraordinary talent around him for long? Of course not.

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This news was dropped on a Monday morning so it could control the news cycle for days on end. That was no coincidence, nothing LeBron James or Rich Paul is involved in is done without methodical precision.

I love that the NBA has become a league controlled by the players. It’s mostly a positive thing that other leagues like the NFL and MLB could certainly learn from. But when we get to a point where your best players are taking advantage of that to completely circumvent any rules that are put in place to protect small market teams or provide a fair trade market, than maybe it’s time for the league to step in.

I mean when Rich Paul, one of LeBron’s best friends became an agent, did they really expect anything different? Stuff like this was bound to happen. In the old days, many agents had companies or agencies they would have to answer to for pissing off other teams in the league like this. Rich Paul doesn’t care, at the end of the day he answers to LeBron, regardless of how much he might claim otherwise.

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All I ask is we stop the charade and ridiculous news cycle. AD is going to end up in LA one way or another. And you know what? Good. I hope he goes there and realizes quickly that he fucked up. It’s never gonna be LeBron’s fault if they don’t win. Nope, that blame will fall squarely on the shoulders of Davis. Before he knows it, he’ll be subjected to the subtle tweets or post game interviews that will be filled of LeBron throwing shade his way.

He won’t get any of the credit if they win either, that’s all going to LeBron. He’ll be acclaimed as the greatest player ever for winning a championship on three different teams, while people will say AD never could have won without him.

So have fun with that Mr. Anthony Davis. I get you don’t want to be a Pelican for life. It’s understandable. But maybe don’t utilize the media to accomplish that in the most obnoxious fashion possible. You don’t strike me as someone that wants to be hated, but your joining the one polarizing player and team that will almost assure that to be the outcome. Have fun.

 

 

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